The D.J.Files
…somewhere in Wales
Disclaimer : the ‘Files are based on excerpts of various surfers’ lives, but they’ve been unmercifully ‘cut-n-pasted’ ! 🙂
The D.J.Files #18
Double L Beach…
It’s a holiday weekend. ‘Everyone’ from the old gang is camping at Double L beach. The place always gets busy on spring/summer weekends. This is no exception. The pub at the village a short drive up a country road is always so full at these times that people pass money hand-over -hand to the bar and hope both drinks and change come back the same way. It usually does. People sit on cars, the stone wall, the grass. When the place closes surfers pile into and _onto_ cars for the drive back to the tents and campervans. A few always end up chundering in the sand dunes. Eventually all goes quiet until dawn.
At dawn the early birds are up for a quick surf check. They are back at a run and kicking, shaking and abusing their dozier counterparts. It was clean glass. It was overhead. Gedyerfrigginarsesintogeeaarr!!!! OK, who’s missing. Shit, Jonesie’s missing. He went off with those, um, dubious-looking girls. Better go get him. What about D.J….hey!, he’s already in. Amazing. OK, let’s go find Jonesie. It takes about 10 precious minutes to find the large, communal tent full of girls…”Er, excuse us, can we have our friend back?”. There’s a short discussion, but eventually these,er,ladies let Jonesie go.
“Thanx boyz”, he says with a grin…”hang on I need a wizz” They stand and wait, while he waters the dune grass
“Shit what’s this on my….oh, it’s OK, it’s only fluff.” and he gives a sheepish grin.
Out in the water. Some of those who didn’t chunder last night do so once they make it outside, Jonesie included. Then everyone’s set. Except Barf. The waves are peak/walls. They break initially with about 10-15metres of crashing section and then peel off either way. Baraclough…”Barf” as he’s known.. is sitting in perfect position for the rights. Trouble is, he’s goofy. “Outside!!” comes the cry and a perfect machine-made set of 6-8′ faces comes lifting out of the ocean. Only D.J. and Barf are in the A1 spot.
“It’s all yours!” D.J. generously says to Barf about the first wave.
“But I can’t surf backhand…”
“Shit man, I showed you…”
“Well..I just can’t D.J.!!”
“O.K….” and D.J. digs in and takes two paddles. The board slips into the glassy face like a customs officer’s rubber glove into….well anyway, he’s off. Gouging bottom turn. Beautiful rooster-tail of spray as he bams off the lip. The rest of the wave is a series of carves and curves. Just before the shorebreak close-out he punches out over the back…..and there on the wave behind is Barf. He comes out of a late bottom turn, slams up into the face,sets a perfect line and outruns the fast peeling lip like Roadrunner with a Wyle E.Coyote in pursuit. He makes it out too, with an easy pullout. D.J.’s jaw is dropped open…”I thought you said…”
“Yeah…” and Barf has just the stupidest grin across his face.
Lyonnesse Surf 